Dieting. It’s not a foreign subject to me. I was an obese child, an obese teenager, and I continue to be an obese adult. This struggle with my weight has now crossed into its second decade. I can admit now that food is my addiction, I overeat when I am happy, when I am sad, when I am bored, doesn’t matter what is going on, I want to eat. I eat healthy food, I eat junk food, I eat delicious food, I eat food I cannot stand. I eat to eat. It’s my drug of choice, and sadly I can’t stop.
Except that I can stop. I have proof that I have stopped in the past. In 2009, I reached a point that frightened me. I was just 5 lbs shy of 300 lbs, a weight that I swore if I ever reached I would take my own life. Except, at 5 lbs away, I certainly didn’t want to take my own life, that was the stupid promise of a moody teenager. More importantly, I didn’t want to live that way. So I signed up for weight watchers, took a new outlook on life, and lost 60 lbs.
I have successfully stayed in the -50lbs range since then, gaining and losing weight during various good times and bad. It was nice for awhile, wearing a new size, feeling better, but in the past few months it’s changed. The stress of being alone in LA, of finishing this degree, of work, all of it lead me to start to eat again. My lowest point came last week when I ate smash leftover cake from a ziploc bag, just because it was there.
So I am at it again. It’s time to clean this up. The thought is, if I can move to LA, if I can follow this dream, if I can get a Master’s degree, there is nothing in the world stopping me from losing this weight, once and for all. I figure this is a good place to share my successes and my failures, and maybe that will help someone else like me. I am using a combination of the Beck Diet solutions, Weight Watchers and good old exercise including Yoga, a belly fat burning routine from a trainer friend of mine, and running the Couch to 5K.
My goal? To lose 100 lbs, which at the rate of 2 lbs a week would be 50 weeks. So let’s say this is a year long process. I started on Monday, Sep 2, 2013, Labor Day. Let’s see where I am on Sep 2, 2014.